In Zazen meditation one sits facing a wall, a plain wall that has no patterns to distract the mind. Facing this wall the sensory world is diminished, there is no longer the stimulus to the eyes and mind that usually distracts us from who we are. There is nothing extra coming in from the outside, now everything that arises comes from the inside. One is thereby faced with oneself.
From the inside there arises feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations. Boredom, sleepiness, and pain can also arise. These are all the defences of the mind. Usually when these defences arise we either indulge in them or suppress them. In meditation there is the opportunity to work through them. Working through means to process these feelings, thoughts and sensations by allowing them to complete themselves without any attempt to change them.
In the beginning the mind is full of defences; thoughts running wild, pain in the knees or back, slowly this begins to subside. As one stays with it the persistence wins out, as we allow what is coming (with mindfulness) it begins to stop coming, it comes because we indulge in it or repress it. Defences arise when we feel threatened in some way; meditation is seen as a threat by the mind. The threat is that we may begin to feel.
The feelings, emotions, and pain that arise are not only related to the present, they are also related to the past and to all our experiences in the past.
In the early stages there is the observer that sits and watches and evaluates. The observer is the ego, and the ego is the originator of our defence systems. When we stop engaging with this system it begins to lose its power and as a result of this we begin to experience more freedom in our lives.
This is because the ego is the product of fear and as the ego loses its power through meditation, fear also begins to diminish. In essence the principle of this is that because the ego is primarily a defence system against unwanted feelings when we begin to allow these feelings then the ego becomes redundant; it no longer has a function because what was denied is now allowed.
When we stop labelling what arises there is just that which arises. Pain without label, or without resistance is free of conflict and becomes just physical sensation that has no particular meaning.
This description of the process of meditation begins to be mirrored in daily life; things arise in relationship, or at work and this process begins of just experiencing without judgement, which is to experience truth. As we go deeper into this process of allowing rather than resisting a new kind of learning appears, not of the intellect but of the body. In this there is nothing negative; all things begin to teach.
Every area of life is touched. This is not to say that we can control anything, its just saying that life will give us certain experiences, sometimes pleasurable and sometimes painful (and many others in between). Instead of fighting or seeking these experiences we can just allow them to occur, as we do this conflict is diminished and there is a sense of more freedom and lightness in our lives.
Faced by the wall (cinema screen) we begin to project (like a cinema projector) all that we are. That is our thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and dreams. The film is seductive it draws us in and we begin to lose consciousness of the present. At some point sometimes abruptly consciousness returns; we are back in the present. How long will it be before we leave again?
The void is about the way we reconstruct the world, we are continually what we see and experience. In meditation we start to break through that reconstruction to what could be called the void, because it is beyond or behind the reconstruction, it is not possible to name this because once it is named it is no longer the void. This void is not empty but full of life, intelligence and meaning.
There is a Zen saying, that in the beginning a mountain is a mountain, then it is no longer a mountain, then it is a mountain again. It is like a circle it appears that you havent gone anywhere, but actually you have gone everywhere, and the mountain is not the same mountain it was in the beginning, something incredible has happened in the process of going to Ôit is not a mountain.
There are two important aspects to this meditation, the first is to really let go and relax, allow yourselves to be what you are; to allow completely every aspect of your self; this includes your thinking, physical sensations, sounds, pain, sleepiness, restlessness, and boredom, but also those times when you are more present and more awake.
The posture is awake, not rigid or slouched but awake and alert. It is important to be gentle and compassionate with your self in this practice.
Keep your eyes open, when we close our eyes we are more likely to dream and not be aware that we are dreaming. When you meditate with your eyes open it is easier to remain connected to the world and to the present, and easier to recognise when we begin to dream. The stimulus is reduced but you are still connected and you feel that.
One of the defences that can arise is sleepiness; it becomes very difficult to keep your eyes open. This is something to be faced, it is a resistance, it is the mind saying go to sleep, you dont want to do this, you dont want to sit facing this wall, you could be doing something else, you could at least be sleeping. Work gently with these defences, allow yourself to close your eyes for short periods then gently come back to the meditation, it sometimes helps to follow your breathing for a short while.
The essence of the meditation is to be awake, when we are not awake or when we begin to dream or to think, there always comes a moment when we stop and return to the present, although not necessarily because we wish to. It is as though we are attached to a rubber band and as we begin to dream we move away from ourselves, as we move, a tension begins to build up until the force is so great that we are taken back to where we started. This is the meditation, be aware of that moment when you come back, the more we meditate the more we return to and see the significance of that moment. Ray Menezes